Who Killed Janko?
#1
Janko?  Realizing that even with a ThD he will never be significant enough to make the DL Truth Hall of Shame, Janko commits suicide.

Gollin?  Using the advanced research methods he heard 15 of his friends used in writing his dissertation for him, Gollin connects the dots and concludes that pranksters posting on the internet as “John Hudson-Weaver” are really John Weaver-Hudson.  An enraged Gollin asks his wife to return his manly parts and then gets her permission to whack Janko.

Peter French?  Hires well-endowed ex-convict to urinate in Janko’s gas tank.  Unfortunately the prank goes tragically awry as the convict decides to whack Janko instead and blackmail Peter.

WELS?  Under Janko’s shrewd management Hope church congregation membership drops precipitously from 88 to 60.  That’s a huge 31.82% decline, according to John “4.0 In His Stats Courses” Bear.  When Janko won’t resign, WELS administration loses patience and has him whacked.

Chip?  Tired of Janko PMing all the degreeinfo.com members to tell them they are posting on a website owned and operated by a gay boy pornographer and pedophile pandering pervert, Chip sticks a banana in Janko’s tailpipe--then sabotages his car.

Jimmy?  Driven mad by years of sucking up to people inferior to him in every way, Jimmy uses his master locksmithing skills to surreptitiously enter Janko’s car, puts chloroform in the heating system.

Jilted WCTU members?  Heartbroken when the noble Janko declines to give them his virginity outside the bonds of marriage, WCTU members (some of whom are women) conspire to have him whacked.

Dixie?  Criminal mastermind carves a gun from a bar of soap, escapes from federal prison, commandeers a Hummer, holds up a liquor store, drives undetected cross country, crashes into Janko's car, then returns to prison before roll call.  

Klempner?  He really hates Christians.

Gus?  Frustrated by being marginalized on his own website and intimidated by Janko’s 12-year doctorate (equivalent of nearly 40 110-day TESC humanities degrees), Gus hires a team of Bay of Pigs refugees to blow up Janko’s car.  Unfortunately refugees are now 70 years old and manage only to wire a cherry bomb to his radio, succeeding only because Janko hits a moose crossing the interstate.

Janko’s parents?  We wanted him to go to dental school, but no, he has to be Calvin Luther, spending all our tuition money on useless divinity degrees--then takes a vow of poverty while we live on social security, the ungrateful putz.

Who cares?  In six weeks no one will even remember him.
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#2
I wonder who has custody of Janko's hard drive?  I bet it's loaded with porn, probably of the Tailpipe Chip orientation or worse.  The WELS emergency crew probably did a thorough Ted Kennedy-after-Chappaquiddick housecleaning on everything he owned.  

Let that be a lesson to you, you perverts out there.  You never know when you're gonna roll the minivan and everybody will find out about your dirty secrets.  Unless you are George Gollin, in which case your daughter will just write about them in her blogs.
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#3
Dickie Billericay Wrote:Who cares? In six weeks no one will even remember him.

Remember who?
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#4
Dickie Billericay Wrote:Who Killed Janko?

Whoever it was, they did a piss poor job of it.

Click here to see actual video taken at Janko's funeral on Monday.
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#5
Albert Hidel Wrote:Click here to see actual video taken at Janko's funeral on Monday.

Man, those Lutherans are into some weird stuff.  If the Catholic church was that much fun I'd go to mass more often.
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#6
Albert Hidel Wrote:Click here to see actual video taken at Janko's funeral on Monday.

Was that rigor mortis or did Janko's viagra finally kick in?
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#7
Dickie Billericay Wrote:Janko?  Realizing that even with a ThD he will never be significant enough to make the DL Truth Hall of Shame, Janko commits suicide.

Gollin?  Using the advanced research methods he heard 15 of his friends used in writing his dissertation for him, Gollin connects the dots and concludes that pranksters posting on the internet as “John Hudson-Weaver” are really John Weaver-Hudson.  An enraged Gollin asks his wife to return his manly parts and then gets her permission to whack Janko.

Peter French?  Hires well-endowed ex-convict to urinate in Janko’s gas tank.  Unfortunately the prank goes tragically awry as the convict decides to whack Janko instead and blackmail Peter.

WELS?  Under Janko’s shrewd management Hope church congregation membership drops precipitously from 88 to 60.  That’s a huge 31.82% decline, according to John “4.0 In His Stats Courses” Bear.  When Janko won’t resign, WELS administration loses patience and has him whacked.

Chip?  Tired of Janko PMing all the degreeinfo.com members to tell them they are posting on a website owned and operated by a gay boy pornographer and pedophile pandering pervert, Chip sticks a banana in Janko’s tailpipe--then sabotages his car.

Jimmy?  Driven mad by years of sucking up to people inferior to him in every way, Jimmy uses his master locksmithing skills to surreptitiously enter Janko’s car, puts chloroform in the heating system.

Jilted WCTU members?  Heartbroken when the noble Janko declines to give them his virginity outside the bonds of marriage, WCTU members (some of whom are women) conspire to have him whacked.

Dixie?  Criminal mastermind carves a gun from a bar of soap, escapes from federal prison, commandeers a Hummer, holds up a liquor store, drives undetected cross country, crashes into Janko's car, then returns to prison before roll call.  

Klempner?  He really hates Christians.

Gus?  Frustrated by being marginalized on his own website and intimidated by Janko’s 12-year doctorate (equivalent of nearly 40 110-day TESC humanities degrees), Gus hires a team of Bay of Pigs refugees to blow up Janko’s car.  Unfortunately refugees are now 70 years old and manage only to wire a cherry bomb to his radio, succeeding only because Janko hits a moose crossing the interstate.

Janko’s parents?  We wanted him to go to dental school, but no, he has to be Calvin Luther, spending all our tuition money on useless divinity degrees--then takes a vow of poverty while we live on social security, the ungrateful putz.

Who cares?  In six weeks no one will even remember him.

Possible suspects? Let's see, Janko just completed his doctoral dissertation from an accredited university. Who might resent that? Here's a few who haven't yet been named and their motivation:

1. Jack Tracey - dropped out of a doctoral program from a South African school
2. Quinn Taylor Jackson - dropped out of a doctoral program from an unaccredited school
3. Ted Heiks - dropped out of several masters level programs
4. Steve Foerster - can't gain admittance to a South African doctoral program
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#8
Geoff Vankirk Wrote:Possible suspects? Let's see, Janko just completed his doctoral dissertation from an accredited university. Who might resent that?

3. Ted Heiks - dropped out of several masters level programs

Ted Heiks is one of the most generous posters on any of these forums, in terms of his prolific contribution of relevant, useful information.  I can't imagine he would resent anyone getting a degree, even a pus head like Janko.  

Janko could have had 20 degrees and it wouldn't give him any edge on Ted.  Giving people a hand up is the mark of decent guy, not pissing in their beer.  Ted gets that, Janko didn't.
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#9
Geoff Vankirk Wrote:2. Quinn Taylor Jackson - dropped out of a doctoral program from an unaccredited school

If there was every any doubt that there are a lot of sick, twisted, dark, sociopathic bastards long on resentment and short on compassion on the DL boards, the recent flush of toilet swill coming from the likes of these threads puts that doubt soundly to rest.

I happened to like Janko. I spoke with him on the phone once (he called me out of the blue), and he and I talked about non-DL matters as far as I can recollect.

Even so, you sick, twisted, dark, sociopathic bastards couldn't resist bringing my name into your collective illness.

What dragon are you chasing? The dragon always wins. One day, it turns, faces you, looks into your eyes, and eats you alive before you can say "Oh, shit."

Good luck with that.

And may Janko rest in piece.

Quinn
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#10
jackson Wrote:And may Janko rest in piece.

Ah, there's that mega-mensa intellect at work again.  When the proof-reading dragon turned and looked him in the eye...
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