Splooey! Yoodle noodle! Dogcloset! Galoomfed!
#1
God bless President Obama!  Now that America’s greatest President has taken his rightful place as our commander in chief, let me just tell you little degree milling bastards something:

There’s a new sheriff in town!  

That’s right.  Thanks to the Great Leader and my many friends in our beloved Obamunist regime, I, the intellectually superior George Loots-Gollin, have taken over this entire website.  I was hoping for an appointment at the D of Ed, but I guess I’ll have to settle for this (for now).  

I will be conducting my stalking, urr, I mean, my investigations and making my witty and insightful commentary here from now on.  Anyone posting under my name on any other websites should be ignored.  And please ignore those other 1,280 posts I made on the gay boy pornographer’s website too.

Today’s pogrom will be conducted against one Dr. Matt Destruction

[Image: m_4086e481b0a815185a1d024049a5c33c.jpg]
Dr. Matt Destruction

Not a real doctor!
Everyone knows that a proper collaboration requires at least 15 other people.  This is the tradition at great American institutions like Princeton, by whom I, the intellectually superior George Loots-Gollin, was awarded my real, 100% legitimate and highly prestigious PhD.  This “Dr.” Destruction only has a mere 4 other people with whom to collaborate.  This by definition is splooie.

I made this insightful discovery by my usual meticulous and highly technical research methods.  I googled his name and couldn’t find even one single mention of where he got his “doctorate.”  Plus, I used Sam Spade AND the Wayback machine.  Hah, you just don’t get any more thorough than that.  Therefore, I think he’s not a real doctor, and if I think it, it must be true.  

Not his real name!
Using the same rigorous and highly scientific process I hear my friends used when they wrote my Princeton doctoral dissertation for me, I have determined that “Matt Destruction” is not this strange fellow’s real name!  I looked it up in Wikipedia and found out his real name is Mattias Bernwall.  He is some sort of a Swedisher, from Sweden, who plays in a musical ensemble known as The Hives.  You can see some of their unaccredited work on display here.  Well, they can't fool me with those school boy uniforms.  

I ate Swedish meatballs once and they gave me gas.   Tick tick boom indeed.  Oy, such a fetzer I was.  

All Bear clones, immediately execute Plan Nine.  Anonymously call, write and email this duck turd’s employer and try to get him fired out of his job.  (Or is Plan Nine the one where all corpses rise from the dead and kill everyone?  Whatever.)  Stand by now for a secret Bear-O-Gram message.  Ready your decoder rings.  

Goatmen
Obsequious
Librarian
Lesbian
Illegal
Noodle-yoodle

Substandard
Unaccredited
Closetdog
Klingon
Self-promoting

I can’t figure it out, but Dr. Bear assures me it’s something you rabble need to know and that’s good enough for me.
George Loots-Gollin has spoken.  You now may return to your normal activities, inconsequential though they may be compared to my exciting exploits. That is all.
Reply
#2
George Loots-Gollin Wrote: I was hoping for an appointment at the D of Ed, but I guess I’ll have to settle for this (for now).

Now that the treasury secretary is a tax cheat it only makes sense that George Loots-Gollin should be shuffling paper at the DoE.  Can they find 15 people to do the actual work for him?

Maybe his wife can hook on at the FDA too, given her obvious qualifications.
Reply
#3
Miss me?  I’m sure you all are just going Goo Goo for Guggenheim!  I know I am.  

Today I have a special treat for you rabble.  Here’s an advance look at one of the
chapters in my fabulous new book!  

My new best friend Jack “The Hack” Zurlini and I, the magnificent and omniscient
George Loots-Gollin, have discovered yet another goatbag galoomfing splooey
in the dogcloset:

Indian Sex University
Caution: website contains adult heterosexual content that may not be suitable for minors, homosexuals
or people easily repulsed by disgustingly obese women.


[Image: header.gif]

Not a real University!
With the scientific logic and thoroughness you might expect from someone whose
PhD dissertation was written by 15 friends, I have googled several Indian government
websites and now make this authoritative pronouncement:  they don’t have any record
of the Indian Sex University!  Not is Mumbai, not in Bangalore, not in Mysore, not even
in Bangmybumsore.  

Now here is the real shocker (ha ha, note my clever and subtle double entendre!):
that building on the far right of the banner is not really their “convenient Mumbai
campus,” but rather the historic Gateway of India building, located in some place
called Bombay!

[Image: 250px-Gateway_of_India.jpg]

Zirlini and I have carefully scrutinized each and every picture and movie on this
website, and we can tell you with mathematical certainty that there is not a single
one that was shot at the Gateway of India building!  

Not real Indians!  
Check it out, not a single one of these “Indians” is wearing feathers,
carrying a bow and arrow, or living in a teepee!  These are obviously fake Indians, my guess
is probably Italians or Iranians or some other mysterious swarthy foreigners, possibly
pretending to be chemical engineers or nuclear scientists to get fake visas.

Once again the great George Loots-Gollin has uncovered a yoodle noodle factory,
thereby protecting all you innocents of lesser intellect from being fooled by these
trailer trash monsters. Thank me, you’re welcome.
Reply
#4
You gotta love it when life imitates satire.  Compare Gollum's latest diatribe with the above.  The guy has become a parody of himself, except he seems more rational here.
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)